then you could be confused about whether what happened is good. It could appear to be good but you shouldn't judge the book by its cover, should u? You could get lost in this enternal tussle of indecision. Is it good or is it bad? Is this what I want or is it the other? Red or blue? You don't really control anything. Not even yourself. But that doesn't stop you from contemplating and worrying about what could've happened and what should've happened.

It is so bleeding easy to say that you dont care about the world or what the world thinks. I do too. The truth ofcourse is quite confusing. Even if you do actually not care, the world cares about you. Atleast a part of the world. That makes it an uneasy unidirectional relationship. It doesn't really matter anymore that you don't care about the world. It loses it relevance. Anything and everything you do changes something in the world. And what happens in the world around definitely changes things within you. You don't really control anything. Not even yourself. But that doesn't stop you from assuming (wrongly) that you are your own master, commander and slave. You are nobody's master and you are nobody's slave. You are everybody's master and you are everybody's slave. That's how the world works. And it is complicated.

I wont make much sense now. What I said is gooey at best. But the truth does not change. It does change, but the sense that truth tries to make does not. Truth is gooey at best. And it does change. Truth is not an object, truth is not a feeling, truth is nothing, truth can be everything. Truth can be an illusion, truth can be the truth. You don't really control anything. Not even yourself. But that doesn't stop you from thinking that you know the truth.

I don't have much leisure. I don't do anything that I think is useful. How can something I do be useful? How do you define usefulness? Useful as in I satisfied myself by doing it? Is that ever possible. Feeling satisfied and elated about something that you did. You might feel a moment of elation, but is it useful enough to keep you there. What is the whole point of things? Where does everything lead us to? Back to dust. Where exactly is the point of doing things? Nothing you do is going to make anything change. Change happens by itself and is an ongoing process. You don't really control anything. Not even yourself. But that doesn't stop you from feeling a sense of having caused some change.

(holy crap! What have I done to myself?)

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.. u lose something to gain something. Not everything will happen always. What has not happened is not important! What is important is what has happened! What is also important is that what has not happened now can happen later! That way both or all of the things you wanted/wished for will happen, albeit at different points in time.

(that's the gandhi influence. gandhi of the vijay type.)

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music favs

I am a music lover. I may not understand the maths of music. I am not even a bathroom singer. But I love music. All kinds of music - from rock to western classical to ghazals to jazz to ... everthing except boybandish, britneyisk and bollylike music. So it is not surprising that I want to make a list of my fav music numbers. I am not quite sure of how to organize my fav list. Genre is moot! So I'll probably do it my way.

The first list is a collection of those mellow, yummy and oftentimes romantic songs (power ballads inclusive). Ofcourse there are way lot more that I like than what's listed here.

1. Topping the list is "Love will keep us alive" as performed by "The Eagles" (as of this past saturday it has a special meaning to me)

2. "Romeo and Juliet" by "Dire Straits". This has some awesome guitar solos on it.

3. "Making love out of nothing at all" by "Air Supply". I love a whole lot of other Air Supply songs too.

4. "Now and Forever", "Angel's Lullaby" and "Right here waiting" by Richard Marx

5. "Every breath you take" by The Police

6. "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. Train is an awesome band. Not very known I guess but they produce some great unique music.

7. "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton for that twangy guitar.

8. "I believe I can fly" by R Kelly

9. "Wonderwall" by Oasis. Okie this is not exactly mellow but it is kinda to me.

10. "Please forgive me" by Bryan Adams.

Coming Soon: Other lists including favourite Indian music, Rock, etc.

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US Grand Prix - Indianapolis (contd.)

In case you did not see this, here is wat FIA had to say - http://f1.racing-live.com/en/headlines/news/detail/050620160231.shtml


...and among other suggestions offered to help them by monitoring
speeds and penalising any excess.

However the Michelin teams refused to agree unless the Bridgestone
runners were slowed by the same amount. They suggested a chicane. The
Michelin teams seemed unable to understand that this would have been
grossly unfair as well as contrary to the rules. The Bridgestone teams
had suitable tyres. They did not need to slow down.

The Michelin teams' lack of speed through turn 13 would have been a
direct result of inferior equipment, as often happens in Formula One.

Michelin's failure to supply its teams with safe and durable tyres came less than two weeks after it was warned by the FIA not to sacrifice safety for performance.

Do you still think FIA was wrong? Why couldn't the Michelin teams agree to limit their speed and their speed alone into turn 13? So, this wasn't just about safety after all, was it? This is what is a if-i-dont-win-nobody-should attitude.

The more I look and read about this, the more I blame Michelin and the Michelin-shod teams. They were stubborn and totally remorseless. Michelin was incompetent, that's the bottom line. What's even more ridiculous is that none of these teams have anything to say about Michelin's mistake?

Unbelievable. Just because 7(or watever) teams did this together, does not make the wrong right.

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US Grand Prix - Indianapolis

Yesterday's grand prix was a strange one. Michelin-shod cars refused to race when they were alerted by the tyre-maker of a safety issue with the tyres they had delivered. Only the six Bridgestone-clad cars raced, after a proposal for a chicane to slow down a fast corner was turned down. As usual everybody's screaming murder at Ferrari.

I am not on anybody's side. But there are a few questions that are not being asked.

1) How did Michelin miss out on "a specific we had not calculated" as Michelin's director said?

2) Would the chicane really have helped? Mike hinted at a driver who had said the chicane wouldn't have helped.

3) Would all the drivers have been capable of handling a change in the track layout? The practice session is not for the drivers to have fun, you know?

4) Why did the teams put their cars on the grid when they didn't want to race? a gimmick?

5) Why isn't anybody blaming Michelin for delivering substandard tyres? They are paid to deliver tyres that work, aren't they?

I know everybody hates Ferrari for having been so dominant last year - an emotion I fail to understand. The fuel was added by the "team-orders" incident. Well team orders have existed in F1 for a long time. Again Ferrari was booed - I think because of their dominance. I don't know if Ferrari should have agreed to the chicane, but we should remember that the F1 officials themselves did not support the chicane-idea too.

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sea change. or is it?

The latest news making its rounds in India - Advani. L.K. Advani, a stuanch Hindutva leader, calls Jinnah a secularist. More surprising he claims to repent for the Babri Masjid demolition.

Now, for the background. Advani belongs to the BJP, a political party that I have always considered a non-secular, separatist and religionistic party. They do make claims of secularism but the party is hand-in-glove with such Hindu organizations like the VHP and the RSS. These organizations are as religionistic as anything can get. In December,1992 a huge group of activists including leaders of the BJP, VHP, RSS and many other similar groups descended upon the Babri Masjid. The mosque was demolished entirely by this group. The reason is almost laughable - Ayodhya, the location of the mosque, is said to be the birth-place of Ram - of the Ramayana fame. So they wanted to erect a Ram temple in place of the mosque. The funny thing is that we don't know for sure if Ram was anything but a fictional character from the epic. (I am pretty I would be touching some raw nerves with this statement).

Anyway, Advani and the BJP have been so very "hindutva" that I cannot begin to describe the hatred I have for them. Oh not just hindutva, but about anything that they think has a link to Hinduism. A Hindu king, a hindu ritual, a hindu saying or a Hindu cow, sheep or goat. To these people Pakistan is the biggest enemy of all. Not just because they are a Muslim nation but because of other factors like Kashmir and what not. After Pakistan, the next enemy on their list seem to Indian Muslims. The Godhra incident, I believe, was entirely fueled by these Hindutva groups. I am sure I cannot convince of the complexity of the problem through a hundred pages.

When a statesman with such a track record visits Pakistan, that's news. The bigger news however is when he goes on record stating that the founder of Pakistan, Jinnah, espoused a secular Pakistan and that he was a great man. That statement broke the back for BJP in India. BJP's foundations - the VHP and RSS - were agitated by such a blasphemous statement from the BJP leader. Further indignation was caused when Advani said that he repented the Babri masjid demolition. Advani did not take back his words, he resigned from the BJP leadership.

If he meant every word that he said, if he really did feel sorry for what he did in 1992 he has gained my respect. I have hated everything to do with religions. I believe that though they might have been designed with the best interest, religions are nothing more than a hindrance to human life. Religion has become a blood-sucking monster that kills and preys. If this man, Advani, has indeed managed to escape the clutches of what-has-become-of-religion he is a great man.

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