What's hot on everyone's lips and spewing smoke? Not ciggies, dudes. I am talking about that talking point that everyone is talking about when they find the need to be talking. (Note to self: Don't go overboard!!)

Well, ok, yeah. I am talking about the proposed apocalypto (that's what I am told it is) that was all set to open a no. of times in the past month. The Bengaluru Intl Airport is finally (hmmm, are you sure?) gonna open on the 23rd. (Actually it shouldn't be called the Bengaluru Intl Airport. It's more like the Miles-out-of-Bangy airport)

People have been cribbing left, right, center and through their nose. What? 2+ hours through hellish traffic to catch a plane that has a 50 minute air time? What? You expect me to pay extra for going through all this hell? Brilliant business model, you got going there dudes!!

Seriously, though, I don't mind that the airport is so far away. In kilometer terms. I don't mind that it is so far away. In hour terms. Of course, there are the bird brains that have been proposing a helicopter service from the city to the airport! What gives? Another 2000 bucks on top of all that crap.

That brings me to this. What the fish do these airline companies think of themselves. 99 bucks only for your flight ticket, sir!! Ah, but then we need to charge you this Fuel Surcharge of 1.5 K. How else do you expect us to pay for the fuel sir? Put that on the airfare, you cheating nincompoops.

Back to the airport then. As I said I don't mind that it's 40 kms out of town, but you shouldn't make travellers travel for 2 hours, then get through 3 hours of check-in+security check+waiting time, then travel in those lousy seats for hours and hours. Geez!! Couldn't you have done something about connectivity during all this time you spent building one (yes your read it right. ONE!!) runway?

Move forward a year and what do you hear. "Hello folks. This is your First Officer speaking. Due to congestion in Bengaluru, landing will be delayed by 2 hours time. Keep yourself amused. We will very soon recycle those dumbwit movies that you are watching.."

Ok, my mandatory BIAL rant is done. Now I will go and crib about to the first person that I will meet. BTW, if you are on that inaugural Indian flight to Singapore, expect some goodies. Especially if you can get to the airport before anyone else does! You just might find yourself splashed as front page news.. Awwww, no, I didn't mean you would get killed by a bird-hit.